Wanting to constantly reinvent yourself or grow is perfectly reasonable and understandable. We all want to be the best versions of ourselves.
But transforming our lives isn’t just about improving ourselves mentally. We need to improve on ourselves physically, emotionally and socially. There are plenty of steps we can take, but they need to work on every bit of ourselves.
You don’t need to hire an expensive life coach or book multiple medical tests to transform your life. With these six self-help changes, you can see an instant improvement in various areas of your world.
Why Do You Want to Change?
Before you start following the six steps, you’ll want to assess the reason you’re doing this. Transforming your life isn’t going to be an overnight success. It will take time to get into a habit of the changes. You’ll need to work at it and have the motivation to keep going when things seem to get tough.
Knowing your “why” is essential. It’s your reason for it all. The goal you have at the end of your journey. This is personal to you and there aren’t any wrong or right answers. Dig deep and assess what you really want to gain out of this.
Once you know you why, set up a dream board or vision board. They can be clippings from newspapers and magazines. You may print off old images or locations that you want to visit. Your dream board can even be full of quotes or stats that you want to be part of. Having a vision board will just help to make you why to stand out. When you’re struggling, you have something to look at to remind yourself of what you want to achieve.
Now you have your “why,” it’s time to focus on the six self-help changes that can transform your life. Are you ready to make the change?
Be Around the Right People
Making changes is more than just eating the right things and doing some exercise. It’s all about the people around you. It’s time to surround yourself with positive influences.
Negativity breeds negativity, while positivity does the opposite. If you want to succeed in life, you want to have the latter at your disposal. You need the people who will spur you on and help you be the best version of yourself. Be surrounded by the people who want to be the best version of themselves.
This is why some people will turn to life coaches. They have a mentor to help direct and support them. After all, all the greats have had mentors in their lives. Max Talmund mentored Albert Einstein, while Oprah Winfrey says her father was the one who helped her change her life. But you don’t need to pay someone to support and direct you. There’s no need to spend your savings to get someone to hold you accountable. There will be people in your life right now who are those positive influencers.
You’ll also want people who will be there to talk to when things get hard. Changing your life isn’t going to happen overnight. There are going to be hurdles that your vision board won’t help you get over. You’ll want to have cheerleaders through your friends and support network. Even if they don’t want to change, choose to surround yourself with people who will help push you in the right direction when you need it. Have people who are willing to listen to your struggles and offer motivation or a friendly shoulder to lean on.
Find Out Who You Are
We spend a lot of time in life being someone we’re not. Whether it’s trying to fit in with a group at school (and then work) or working on being the perfect mom, we get to a stage where we don’t recognize ourselves in the mirror. It’s time to put a stop to that.
There is only one of you and you need to be happy with who that is. You’re not living someone else’s reality. People will always have expectations of who they want you to be. There will always be negative opinions about who you are and what you do, but you don’t want to let them dictate who you are.
One of the best ways to transform your life is to take a step back and reassess who you are. It’s all about owning your decisions and your goals. Put your personality out there and be proud of that personality. Let this personality shine in everything that you do, whether it’s at work, your hobbies or while you’re shopping. Don’t worry about what others think. If you’re happy (and it’s legal and not hurting someone) what’s the problem?
Everything you need to be the person you want to be is at your disposal. It’s just getting the confidence to be that person. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.
Not quite sure who you are or want to be? This can be hard when it comes to abusive or stifling relationships. You may have spent so many years being someone else that you don’t really know what you want to get from life. You have no idea who you really are. This doesn’t mean you have to skip over this step.
It’s time to create the person you want to be. This will take some time to figure out what you want to gain from life. What type of personality do you have? What hobbies are your favorite and what do you like to do in the house?
You’ll hear a lot about putting yourself out there, but if you’re an introvert, you don’t need to force yourself to be an extrovert. Do something that you enjoy; that you love. This will be more rewarding in the long term.
As you become more creative about yourself, you’ll figure out your boundaries. Don’t be afraid to push those boundaries and step out of your comfort zone now and then.
Wait, doesn’t that go against not forcing yourself to be something else? Well, yes and no. Every now and then, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone will transform your life. You’ll realize just what you’re capable of. It’s easier to test your resolve and figure out if someone new really is for you. It can be surprising what you’re capable of if you’ve never had the chance or wish to push those boundaries.
Don’t Be Afraid to Take Risks
As you push the boundaries, you’ll start to take risks. There is a line you won’t want to cross (such as a risk that could put you or someone else at risk) but there are some risks that are good for you. When you take a risk, you will feel a rush of adrenaline. You get the chance to test your fight or flight mechanism to really see what you’ll do. There’s the chance to learn more about who you are.
You’ll hear a lot of negativity about taking risks. People will tell you to go to school and get good grades, to get a stable job, and to start a family. There are all these expectations that won’t necessarily fit your personality. Your parents may have expectations of you following a specific career path or of continuing in the family business.
If that’s not something you want to do, don’t force yourself to fit in. One of the best things you can do is take a risk at trying something different.
Not sure what you want to do? Following the expectations can help give you some stability while you figure out what you want to do. There is some sense is having a minimum wage job while you set up your business venture, for example. Just don’t be afraid to take the bold step when it’s time.
Part of this involves expressing who you really are. It’s time to stop holding yourself back because of the expectations of others. You need to stop questioning yourself and thinking about the opinions others will have of you. Put yourself out there and you may be surprised at the opposite response to the one you were thinking.
Worried about the lack of perfection? There will always be naysayers. People expect more from you or will expect you to be perfect in the things you do, but keep in mind that it’s not possible. Even the greats were perfect. While Mozart and Picasso may be remembered for their creativity, they weren’t the masters of their craft that they wanted to be. Nor did they have the perfect home life. There’s nothing wrong not meeting perfection. Humans aren’t perfect and it’s time to accept that.
By accepting there’s no such thing as perfection, you’ll stop viewing failure as a problem. Failure is a way to show where you need to improve; where you can grow and learn. Making a mistake will give you something to adapt from. The point is that you’ve put yourself out there and you can learn so much more about yourself and the people around you because of that.
Face the Problems in Your Path
Whether it’s an abusive partner, a death in the family or that snobby mother at the school gates, there will always be problems in your path. There will always be obstacles to get over. The point is that they’re there for you to go around or jump over. Don’t let them stop you from meeting your goals and being the person that you want to be.
How you handle the problems will depend on the exact situation. All of them will involve some reflection on yourself and the things you’d done.
Start by taking a note of the obstacles you face. They can be both real or virtual. Some people will keep hearing “no” when it comes to getting their manuscript published, while others will hear “no” from the bank for their business loan. You may have negativity from your friends or someone at the school gates may constantly spread rumors and lies about events that have happened. Make a list of absolutely everything that is stepping in your way.
Once they’re written down, they can become easier to deal with. You see them for what they are and you can start tackling them one by one. There’s also something relaxing and exciting about crossing the problems off your list.
Now you have the obstacles, you can set up a plan to get over each one. What will your initial steps be and how will you move forward after those steps? What are your solutions that can stop the obstacle from becoming a major problem?
You’ll help your mental health by taking these steps to overcome the problems. There’s something stress-free about having the solutions because the problems arise. You’re more in control, helping to keep the adrenaline down. Your emotions are more positive, as you have the confidence that you already know the solution.
It’s time to get over the things from the past. Learn from them and move forward. Live in the moment and you’ll feel free from burdens.
Get a Happy Place
This can sound corny and cliché, but there’s nothing better than finding your happy place when it comes to transforming your life. This place doesn’t need to be physical. You can have somewhere in the house or in the local town, or you can have somewhere within your mind. Either way, it’s the place you go for to look inward and tackle situations head-on.
Many people will opt for a happy place when they’re meditating. They will have a safe space that is free from others and judgment. As they meditate, they will take themselves to this space, where they’re able to calm down and reflect on everything. They bring back the positive thoughts and feelings, reducing stress and improving the mental health.
You can also have this safe space while doing yoga. The exercise is good for the physical body, while the connection to your soul will help to boost your emotional and mental health.
The happy place needs to be something that you’re connected to. It’s a space that you can lose yourself within emotionally. There is no wrong or right place, as every individual is different. Nor is there a wrong or right way of getting there. You can do it through meditation, but you can also get there through writing in a diary or through your artwork.
This is also something you can do physically. There may be somewhere in the local area that makes you feel happy; that gives you the chance to lose yourself. Some people love to go to the beach and watch the waves, while others prefer to watch birds and animals in the park. You may love to take your boat out on the lake and escape the noise of people around you or prefer to take a drive to the countryside where you’re alone from everyone.
Gain New Experiences
Finally, it’s time to try something new. This isn’t just about taking risks or putting yourself out there. It’s about trying new foods, taking up a new hobby or visiting a new local group. Try something that you never expected to do years ago; something that wouldn’t initially seem like you but sounds interesting.
How can this transform your life? Well, there are a few ways. The first is that you get to do something different. It’s a chance to find something new that you like, something that entertains you and makes you happy. While you may never have thought sewing was fun, you may find you love the creativity behind it.
Then there’s the social aspect. Many new hobbies or events will involve meeting new people. As an introvert, it can be difficult to force yourself to do this, but by getting a buffer of a new experience and doing something, being sociable becomes more natural. You have a place to start talking; a linked interest that gives you that buffer. The people you meet can become good friends.
Finally, there are the mental health benefits. You enjoy the tasks at hand. You finally have some fun doing something different and find that you’re growing as a person. As you become more positive about the things you’re doing, you will become more positive about life in general.
What Change Will You Make First?
Don’t feel like you have to do everything at the same time. One of the best things about life transformations is you can take it slow. In fact, slow is often easier. Take it one change at a time and work on improving one aspect first. It’s less overwhelming and you’ll find it easier to create a habit. Soon the change will become second nature and you can move onto the next one.
Now all you need to do is choose which change you’ll do first. Part of that is linked to your “why.” Set up your vision board and decide on the change that helps you reach your goal first.
